Fantastick

Today I slept all day. 

And if it werent for me having to pick up my brother from school I would probably just barely wake up right now (its 11 pm)

So finally I have all my school shit together and I am registering for classes for fall. All of them are design classes, and so far I am signed up for three, and two are online. BALLIN. So Im barely going to have to go to actual class. Thank god for online classes. I wish I could just do everything online, but I guess Id end up with an online degree. no thanks. Im not living in tempe for NOTHING. UGH tempe. 

So I signed up for Rio Salado online geography class, the whole thing lecture and lab is online. Im kind of scared, but Im taking it next month so at least ill have one class to worry about. Of course I leave the only two general requirements till the end, and they are both science. Really? Its just not for me and I hope i dont fail it.

Yesterday I went to the college of design to declare my major for the THIRD time, which will be design studies and im sticking to it. Last year I realized that communications is shit and I really dont wanna do it. I mean, I learned alot dont get me wrong, but not for a bachelors degree. Everything I learned in a years worth of communication was based on common sense and not actually learning and attending class. So I went to the design college and now I am going back to design :) I am now for sure what I want to do for the rest of my life. I dont really see myself doing anything else but art and design. Thats how badly I want it. And it took me about three years to realize what I really want to do, just because I was forced to choose a job when I was a senior. And because of that I wasted two years. So fuck that. If you dont know what you wanna do yet, its ok. Cause it will just come to you. We are still young. At least we are still in school. I read an article that moms (like ages 40 and up) are going back to school. So that makes me feel good just knowing that im 19 and im almost done with what they are about to begin, and to get a degree.

fdskfjkalfkdjlsad

ok bye. 

Ay, Chico.

Last night I partied with Mariel and Kassie and it was INTERESTING to say the least. I think they would both agree with me too. 

Anyways, so I come home this morning, kind of hungover and really tired and my parents are like... we are going to CHURCH. And first thing in my head was UGH I really need to sleep right now. But then my moms like, we are going to the 1:00 mass= the spanish mass. 

If you dont by now know, catholic mexicans are HARDCORE catholic and religious and bring their whole family and extended families to church, like christmas time. You have to make sure you get there on time (which in this case no one gets there on time) and the church packs up 1/4 of the way through the mass. So im like mother fuck. First of all I hate going to church and second I dont even understand half of it so its ridiculously pointless for me to do so. But. I go anyways. 

Church is PACKED. And the mass was going to begin. All of a sudden, a band plays with accordians, guitars, and drums playing an upbeat song and everyone in the church starts clapping. I was like ??? what is going on here? Everyone was so happy to be there and like it was one big party minus the tequila. So during the mass, the priest is flapping across the altar talking about the gospel in spanish, but I really wished I knew what he was saying cause he looked so enthusiastic and so true to what he was saying, Ive never heard a priest like that, so dedicated to what they were saying to all of these people who truley believe every word he is saying. The only downfall of trying to hear during the mass was all the babies were CRYING and screaming and yelling in spanish and their parents dont take them outside and let them run through the isles and are squirming off the pews to the floor. Pure anarchy. But something about it was exciting to me. And i felt like these people arent just there cause its sunday and you must go to church, but you really dont pay attention and think that by just sitting there and pretending to listen makes you a catholic. 

When the mass was over, I walk outside with my parents and there are TENTS beyond TENTS on the front lawn of St. Francis. Im pretty sure if i ask those of you who go to st. francis mass would FREAK OUT if they saw this. It was a legit "mercado" outside. Selling every kind of mexican food you can think of like tacos burritos rice beans, all kinds of meats, ice creams, EVERYTHING. I had never witnessed such a thing. It was basically Mexico. 

But my whole point to this story is that I came in with a closed mind about coming to the mass, since I myself dont even understand why Im even catholic, but I was just observing the whole time and noticing how these people show real emotion and devotion to their religion, and also how they raise their children to do so also. That is another part also, is that in the mexican culture, the children are probably the most important thing for their community and the future, for their kids to not only go to school and get an education, but to also keep intact their culture and identity and not to lose it living in a dominant white society. 

For myself, obviously going to an all girl private school, living in north phoenix, I have definately lost some of my cultural identity. But now that im older and am in college getting an education I realized, more so today, that I am already an example of the new generation of hispanics which are not only americanized and have more goals, but educated and are willing to give back to the community and I already see that within the circle of friends my dad has made here in arizona of professional and very successful hispanic business people and today I decided that I want to be one of those and make cash money and be successful but also help the kids and families in my community who dont have the resources to do so.

I feel like I just wrote a fucking term paper.

But whatever. 

I hope you read it. 

I was just thinking about this allday. 

And I just had to write it out. 

OKBAI. 

For the tenth time.

I colored my hair again. 

According to the box, its medium auburn. 

I really like it. I think im going to use another box so that it becomes brighter. No? yes?

I'll be ready in two shakes of a lambs tail

Today I saw that movie UP with my brothers. That is the saddest movie pixar has come out with YET. What the fuck? The kid had NO mom, and his dad was never there for him and the old man he went on the adventure with had to go to his wilderness graduation in place of his dad and sit on the curb eating ice cream like how his dad did. That is some kind of fucked up, among other things that went on in the movie, but if you haven't seen it, you should see it for yourself. 

Im working on my portfolio, which was limited to only photographs, but this past week ive been painting like an asian paints nails all day and ive made many a paintings. So now my portfolio has grown from just photographs to pictures, designs from photoshops, and paintings i did on paper and acrylic. Im mostly trying to make some fine ass art to put up in my NEW APARTMENT ill be getting in August. Im so excited. I still have to share a room and a bathroom (motherfuck) but at least it wont be in a shithole dorm and I can stay DURING winter break AND summer. ballin. 

But anyways alot of whats gonna be in my portfolio is on my Deviant Art website.

OMG i just am noticing that fucking Kathy Griffin was an extra in Pulp Fiction WHAT THE FUCK. Thats crazy. 

AHH. This summer is just progressing S L O W L Y but so far I dont have many complaints. So thats good. Im also looking for something to keep me company, if you catch my drift. I feel like my life in itself is a business and im the fucking boss. Ive been back and forth from ASU every goddamn day and the milage on my car is going through the fucking sunroof. Im in meetings constantly with every advisor in the communication AND design schools AND my therapist. AND im playing momma drizzle while my parents are at work and my brothers stay at home and nag me every fucking minute of they day to drive their asses to the park, chuck e cheese, or whatever the fuck little boys do. ugh. 

Im thinking of changing the design of this blog. what do you think? 

Im getting a little tired of it. Maybe then next time you come on to my site (if you even go on my fucking blog instead of reading it on facebook) it will look different and PRETTY and then maybe you'd like me to design your website or blog. . . . hint hint, wink wink :)

RAWR

IM BACK.

So im back from my month long abandoning this blog. 

I have come back from california two weeks ago to only come back to MORE THINGS TO DO. 

Im out of school for the summer thank god. and out of tempe. 

I really cant stand that place anymore. 

Im in search for an apartment over there and from the looks of it ill be getting a pretty good place. So im excited for living somewhere thats NOT A DORM aka cockroach hotel. 

California was very relaxing and I used it to put myself back together and think up of some new goals for myself. I always used to find goals for myself and make sure everything gets done right away and I fulfill those. Well apparently life doesnt go that way. Its taking a while for everything to come together, but I finally have figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life. And thats to do design and art. I cant find or see myself doing ANYTHING other than that. Just the thought of me becoming an artist/designer makes me excited. So I think im starting out on the right path. 

So being back in Phoenix is SO BUSY and so many things going on in my life. You can probably say im being a little more selfish, Im trying to do things for myself and just trying to figure out the right places I belong. I cannot waste any time here at ASU anymore like I have been just fucking around and feeling sorry for myself and for everyone else. I would go to my friends alot when I had some hard times cause I LOVE my friends so so much. But I think its time to find out my problems by myself and not with the help of alcohol. I NEED TO STOP DRINKING. Now that im at home and obviously cant parade around like an obliterated mess, I cant believe how much I drank at the dorms and how shitty I felt so many times. I was pretty fucked up and I just really hope not to fall into that anymore. Im sick and tired of high school bullshit and people acting basically like little shits. 

All im trying to say is, Its time for us to all grow up. 

Like seriously. 

We are all fucking juniors COLLEGE. when did that happen? Last I saw myself even barely graduating high school. Time is going by faster than ever and while I hate it, I love it cause I am ready to be where I want to be and thats not wasting my time doing things i dont wanna do. 

Anyways. I got into this stage where I need to wear a belt with everything. 

Its kind of odd. But i like it. 

Im making more art than EVER and cant wait to make more. Thats what I love about summer. I dont have bullshit homework to worry about. 

More tomorrow. The end.