Need Support?

I havent been writing in here at all.


and its about time i begin to.
again.


For the longest time ive been hiding in my own control over things that dont really matter, cause i realized that I had no control over my own life and the decisions I had been making. They were always based on them and making sure they were happy. And that became the root of my problems for years now.


Everytime i talk to the counselor i feel like a release.
I love it.
I tell her anything I want and she supports me.
i need support.
that is what I need.
maybe thats why I always moved too fast?
feeling like I was receiving support and love from them.
But in the end it was fake.
and they are all decieving.



Ive changed now in my moods and reactions.
but its only temporary.
im like in sort of a transition period.
like a standstill almost.
a waiting game for it all to kick in and make me better again.



I want a change for reals now.
i need to be stronger.



I fucking need to be stronger.

Quick Impulse.

Ive had it to ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->


here. with basically everything.







and none of you know it.












goddamnit.
fuckyou
im so done.
let me go now please.
okgreat.